Have you ever felt judged for being overweight?
I was obese for most of my life. I felt invisible. I was judged by my peers for being unable to shop at the same fashionable stores due to my size. Customer service workers even treated me differently than my skinnier friends, too. And of course people often made untoward comments about my weight.
Have you ever felt invisible, or judged, due to your size? How do you cope with these judgements?
Of course, I felt like a huge poster board on display for all to see and ridicule. Even though I was morbidly obese on the outside I felt tiny on the inside and invisible. I was afraid to get close to anyone and rejected others before they had the chance to reject me. The wall built up around me was indestructible! I had to protect me but unfortunately doing that i shut others out. My world 🌎 became very very small. It was me and the food, especially sweets.
We hear you,
. How is the 12-step program going? Is the program helping you through the holidays? Thinking of you and sending lots of warm wishes your way. - Lori (Team Member) my program is going well, one day at a time 🙏🏾
Yeah, I’ve definitely felt judged, sometimes in ways people probably didn’t even realize they were doing it. As a bigger guy, I’ve had strangers look at my shopping cart like they’re silently critiquing my food choices, or make little “jokes” about portion sizes.
What’s worse is the assumptions people make, like thinking I must be lazy or undisciplined without knowing anything about my life, my health, or what I’ve been through.
Coping with it hasn’t been easy, but I’ve learned to focus on the voices that matter my family, close friends, and my own self-worth. I try to remind myself that someone else’s judgement says more about them than it does about me. And on tough days, I lean into communities like this one, where people get it and don’t reduce me to just my size.
What a great perspective. I'm glad you shared that here, where others can read it and benefit from it. I have an ex-friend who was always super judgmental toward people who were overweight. Our friendship withered, in part, because of that bent toward judging others. She was clearly unhappy with herself and her life and sought to oppress others to uplift herself. So I hear you. I'm glad you are finding ways to tune those people out. - Lori (Team Member)
I'm sorry you got judged. I stopped the diet game after decades. Stuck to them to no avail. Keto worked for awhile. They need to research it, not my fault nor most people's. In the meantime I and everyone else should be enjoying life, I am. Bullying, shunning, etc. have no place in life. The more you stand up yourself the better. Signed living life unapologetically.
I love your perspective,
. I wish more people could learn to embrace the positives and live life more fully, regardless of their size. Do you feel healthy overall? Thanks for being here! - Lori (Team Member) yes
Hello,
I am brand new to this group. I am glad to have a chance to respond to the above post.
Not only have I experienced firsthand being treated differently because of my weight, but when I wear makeup compared to no makeup that makes a difference also. I feel like I can say this because I have been thinner and heavier and I have worn makeup at times while other times I wear no makeup. There is definitely a difference in the way I have been treated by strangers out in public.
I don't think most people are capable of even recognizing their bias. Perception, attitude, and experiences, and most importantly, a lack of understanding of the facts surrounding obesity. I also believe that thin people believe that all overweight people do nothing but sit around and eat cake, pie, & ice cream while sitting on the couch 24 hrs. a day, and never moving off of said couch.Thanks so much for sharing this perspective. It's so true that people judge others based on their weight, and aren't willing (or able) to recognize this bias! Personally I have been overweight for most of my life and I know when people are treating me different than other people at lower weights. I also have experience living in a bigger verses a smaller body. It disheartening when people treat me worse just because I'm existing in a larger body! I'm really glad you mentioned that wearing makeup also affects how people see you and treat you. It's so frustrating when this happens. I often feel pressured to wear makeup when I go out in public, because I know that people will treat me worse if I don't... do you have this problem? Warmly, Tatiana (obesity.net team member)
