Have you ever felt judged for being overweight?
I was obese for most of my life. I felt invisible. I was judged by my peers for being unable to shop at the same fashionable stores due to my size. Customer service workers even treated me differently than my skinnier friends, too. And of course people often made untoward comments about my weight.
Have you ever felt invisible, or judged, due to your size? How do you cope with these judgements?
I am sorry to hear that you went through all this, honey. I read your story, and I kinda felt each and every word you mentioned. There were days when I was body-shamed by my own family. Coming something of this sort from your family rather than support and love feels terrible. I have an incident to share from my dating life; I used to date a homeless guy. Ya, ik you guys will judge me on that, but please do not!!
One morning, I spotted him outside my home, picking up food from the trash and eating it. I felt bad; I was packing my breakfast and added 2 extra sandwiches for him. I met him on the school bus and offered him food, and he immediately took it. That’s how we became friends. At that time, I was a cute and chubby chick.
One day, I offered him to shower at my place and change clothes. He came by, I offered my dad’s clothes to him, he looked nice and all, at that moment I thought I started liking him. After a few more days of hanging out sessions, we came closer. I believed he loved me, loved me for who I am. Obese! Fat! Chubby!... I was wrong.
I was just being used for my kindness and for regular day-to-day stuff. He played me, he used me, and when I confronted him, he lashed out at me and told me to f-off from his life! WHY? Because I was an ugly fat chick!! That day, my world fell apart. When he left my place after this confession, I broke down. I shared this with my sister, and she slammed me for being overweight and that I will never get a guy.
Imagine a 17-year-old girl being called out for her medical condition by the ones she thought were close. I went into depression and started staying in my room. My parents couldn’t care less about me; they didn’t come up to me and just asked how I was doing. I desperately wanted to take my life and felt that there was no point in living this way.
Never mind, my best friend, Lily, she broke into my room after a week and took me to the doctor. I was hospitalized for 2 weeks. After coming back to life, I was counseled by the Dr to believe in myself, and he prescribed me Orlimax capsule. It has been a game-changer for me ever since. It has really helped me cope with my condition and in weight management.
To feel better, I started surrounding myself with people who loved me for who I was. I moved out of my house, started living alone, and am happy with Lily. We’re about to get married next month. I love her because she loved me when I couldn’t love myself.I hope you find the love and respect you deserve too ♥️
Love & Hugs!!
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It sounds like you’ve been through quite a lot, and I’m truly sorry for the pain you experienced. I can't imagine how upsetting that must have been to put yourself out there only to be treated with disrespect and rudeness. I'm so glad that you had your friend in your life to be such a big support to you. We should all be so lucky to have a friendship like yours. I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better. What you said about surrounding yourself with people who love you for you is so important and something we all need reminding of here and there. Thank you again for sharing and I hope to see you around in the community, Chloe. - Kayleigh, Team Member
Mine even came from my family judging me also
I'm sorry to hear that even family was judgemental of you based on your size. Sometimes it comes from the people closest to us and that always hurts the worst. Hopefully though you've since been able to brush the comments or looks off your shoulders and have allowed yourself to embrace who you despite what your appearance might be. Those that love you will love you for who you are, not for what you look like. Big hugs! ~Shay (Team Member)
I have worked with a lot of people who have been harshly judged. I have noticed that those who cope with it well often do not internalize the judgement. It’s difficult to imagine that when everyone around you tells you, “you are like this” that you can stay steady and disagree with them, and not start to believe that is true about yourself. But I have seen that some people can manage it. Not sure what their secret is… self-love? Self-acceptance? What do you think?
I struggle every day with my obesity and I have osteoarthritis in my knees, bipolar 1 disorder, and I am a 2-year endometrial cancer survivor. The cancer is related to obesity as it is hormone driven and the osteo arthritis is from a combination of age, chemo, and obesity. I developed obesity as a young woman after using birth control pills the first 3 months I was married. I was 115 lbs. Then bipolar developed at 36 and those medications put on the rest. You are most definitely treated like another person when you are obese. I am determined though to lose the weight. I made it through cancer and do not want a recurrence. I am taking supplements plus cooking my own meals which is a challenge with my knees. I break up chores over the week, but I know my condition will improve as I lose weight and eat correctly. I do not want to retire to the rocking chair yet. I am 62 with 6 grandchildren
I believe in you, keep up the great work!
Congratulations on getting through your cancer, treating your bipolar disorder, and other medical problems. If you have to gain weight in order to get your medical needs treated, sometimes that is a trade-off that must be made. I hope you do not have too much shame about your size. Especially since you do not have much control over it! I've found, personally, that shame is not conducive for long-term change. What kind of techniques do you use to stay on track with your health? Warmly,
Tatiana (obesity.net)can I just say I love your energy?! I would love to hear more about what new things you’re working towards your weight and health. Sometimes we think that we just need to do the usual things “correctly this time”, and we blame ourselves when the usual strategies don’t help. Keeping an open mind about what might help is important- I often see that the strategy is the problem, not the person!
