Have you ever felt judged for being overweight?
I was obese for most of my life. I felt invisible. I was judged by my peers for being unable to shop at the same fashionable stores due to my size. Customer service workers even treated me differently than my skinnier friends, too. And of course people often made untoward comments about my weight.
Have you ever felt invisible, or judged, due to your size? How do you cope with these judgements?
I have worked with a lot of people who have been harshly judged. I have noticed that those who cope with it well often do not internalize the judgement. It’s difficult to imagine that when everyone around you tells you, “you are like this” that you can stay steady and disagree with them, and not start to believe that is true about yourself. But I have seen that some people can manage it. Not sure what their secret is… self-love? Self-acceptance? What do you think?
I struggle every day with my obesity and I have osteoarthritis in my knees, bipolar 1 disorder, and I am a 2-year endometrial cancer survivor. The cancer is related to obesity as it is hormone driven and the osteo arthritis is from a combination of age, chemo, and obesity. I developed obesity as a young woman after using birth control pills the first 3 months I was married. I was 115 lbs. Then bipolar developed at 36 and those medications put on the rest. You are most definitely treated like another person when you are obese. I am determined though to lose the weight. I made it through cancer and do not want a recurrence. I am taking supplements plus cooking my own meals which is a challenge with my knees. I break up chores over the week, but I know my condition will improve as I lose weight and eat correctly. I do not want to retire to the rocking chair yet. I am 62 with 6 grandchildren
I believe in you, keep up the great work!
Congratulations on getting through your cancer, treating your bipolar disorder, and other medical problems. If you have to gain weight in order to get your medical needs treated, sometimes that is a trade-off that must be made. I hope you do not have too much shame about your size. Especially since you do not have much control over it! I've found, personally, that shame is not conducive for long-term change. What kind of techniques do you use to stay on track with your health? Warmly,
Tatiana (obesity.net)can I just say I love your energy?! I would love to hear more about what new things you’re working towards your weight and health. Sometimes we think that we just need to do the usual things “correctly this time”, and we blame ourselves when the usual strategies don’t help. Keeping an open mind about what might help is important- I often see that the strategy is the problem, not the person!
I’ve felt invisible due to my weight. I put on around 5 stone after my dx for MS. I’ve since lost weight, but whilst heavier I was shocked by the change in peoples’ attitudes towards me. I was still the same person! I sometimes use a wheelchair and feel people judged me for my weight (“if she lost weight she wouldn’t need that wheelchair”). This leads to other issues such as people ignoring me and speaking to my carer instead of me.
I also had to shop online for clothes in larger sizes, and this changed the way I looked, and clothes I wore. So my appearance changed in that way too. I almost had a different identity.
I struggled moving - small movements such as putting my socks on, and walking made my legs sore and feet burn by the end of the day.
Good luck if you are obese and have MS. it’s hard. There’s no easy answer because losing weight is hard and doesn’t happen instantly.
Hi
. Welcome to the community! Have you been diagnosed with MS long? Depression is common with any chronic illness. I wish doctors would address it more frequently when people are diagnosed so they know it's normal and treatable. Have you reached out to anyone for help - your doctor, a trusted friend, a family member? We're here for you whenever you need us. Best wishes. - Lori (Team Member) I am so sorry to hear that the world has been more difficult to navigate in a larger body. You have pointed out the many barriers that obese people face - social issues can be especially painful. I know what it is like to have a medical problem cause weight gain, and people do judge you for it! I personally have narcolepsy and people liked to blame my symptoms on my obesity. I talk about this in my article here: https://obesity.net/living/weight-microaggressions You are definitely not alone in this!
I hope you continue to use your mobility devices despite what people think. Mobility devices are so important for overall health and well-being for the chronically ill who are in need. How do you tend to push back against the criticism internally? Warmly,
Tatiana (obesity.net Team Member)
By way of introducing myself, I believe that my morbid obesity is a co-morbidity of having a diagnosis of MS. As are several other autoimmune diseases I have been diagnosed with (Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, psoriatic arthritis, etc.) The difficulty I have walking is a symptom of other diseases, not due to my obesity.
And exercise is completely impossible for me!
That said, I have been judged routinely by physicians and others. It hurts emotionally and can often prevent me from getting appropriate medical care. I feel broken hearted for the younger women who are experiencing doctors who ignore their needs or shame them over being obese.
I read once that in a classroom if a small percentage of the students do poorly that cannot be blamed on the school; but if a high percentage has falling grades, the system is at fault.
That's what is happening with obesity in the USA. So many of us struggle and feel humiliated by our weight problem! If shaming helped, we would all be thin!
Thank you to everyone for showing up here and sharing!Hi
. I have no doubt your obsesity is an effect of your other health conditions. People struggle to be active with just one of those comorbities. I can't imagine dealing with them all. You must always be dealing with unstable hormones, joint pain, congitive fog, muscle weakness, muscle spasms and a whole host of other symptoms. I wish you were never made to feel ashamed or at fault. That is so wrong. I hope that you have learned to advocate for yourself over time and that you are able to push back when health providers treat you poorly.
And I love your analogy. Shaming is never healthy or productive.
Are you aware that we have sister communities for people with MS and PsA: MultipleSclerosis.net and Psoriatic-Arthritis.com? They are both very active and supportive communities. If you haven't already, you might want to check them out.
Thanks for being here and thanks for chiming in. Change won't happen unless people talk openly about their experiences and share them with others, There is strength in those shared experiences. Best wishes. - Lori (Team Member)"If shaming helped, we would all be thin!" What an accurate and strong statement, thank you so much for sharing! I've also had experience with my own health condition causing weight gain (in my case it is narcolepsy). I discuss this in my article here: https://obesity.net/living/weight-microaggressions I think you might be able to relate with my journey! Thanks so much for sharing. You are not alone! Do you have any strategies for combatting shame that is related to obesity? Body shaming is so pervasive and it can be really harmful! Warmly, Tatiana (obesity.net Team member)
