The Weight of Stigma

When you’re overweight it always feels like you’re being watched and judged for the choices you make. At the grocery store? Someone is probably shaking their head at your choice of soda pop instead of water. At a restaurant? Someone is probably questioning the amount of food you ordered. At the beach? Someone is probably raising their eyebrows at the fact you’re wearing a 2-piece bathing suit. At the clothing store? Someone is probably judging an outfit you’ve picked out that you thought was cute.

We don't fit the Barbie mold

Throughout history, we have often heard that the ideal female body type is the hourglass figure. It seems this ideal was perpetuated with the likes of Barbie and Victoria's Secret becoming so popular among females. Even still, I think society likes to believe that "thin" is the ideal. Even just being chunky will often get you side-eyed looks and judgements.

As someone who has experience with overweight and obesity, I clearly don’t fit that mold. If you're like me, our shapes are varied but never that "ideal." So where do we fit into society? Why are we so often cast to the outer fringes just because we don’t look like every model gracing the pages of catalogs?

We are so often judged by others for how we look, even when those judging don’t fit the ideal either. We get those looks at the store like maybe we shouldn’t have the treats in our basket that we’ve given ourselves. Or stares at the pool because we’ve chosen to be confident and wear that 2-piece bathing suit finally.

Thanks Instagram

Around 2012, I began to see a pretty big shift in thought about the body thanks to Instagram and the hashtag "BodyPositive." I saw real people with real bodies begin to fight against the mold that society had imprinted on us as "perfect." We began to realize our bodies were already perfect just as they are.

I began to see less photoshop on models, and more and more models that came in different shapes and sizes. Instagram models began to pick up steam for their differences rather than what was once ideal.

Does inclusivity really include everyone?

Despite this new inclusivity though, there is still a lot of judgement and backlash against those that are obese loving their bodies. It’s like we’re automatically supposed to hate ourselves because we don’t look like the societal norms.

I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced this, but one time when I was still obese, I was standing in a checkout line and a young child in line behind me asked his mom why I was so fat. The mom of course shushed him and apologized for the rude comment. But the fact remains that the comment was said.

I think the vast majority of society tends to believe that we’re obese or overweight out of pure laziness and poor choices. Do we sometimes choose poorly? Yes, but then so does the person judging us.

Love yourself despite the haters

Thankfully despite the haters out there, the waves of change have made plenty of ripples. I believe more and more people are coming to love themselves despite all the haters that are just gonna hate. I think the ideal measurements are long gone, and many are coming to being comfortable in their own skin no matter the size they are.

I've noticed society is slowly shifting away from the Victoria's Secret model perfection mindset and are starting to really embrace what a real woman’s body looks like. This means, too, that the societal judgement for being overweight or obese may slowly, yet surely, be letting up as well.

Feeling confident in your body

Will there still be people who look at me sideways? Yes. I will never really be able to get rid of the stares and the judgement completely. But what I can make sure that I do is to feel confident in my own body and make sure that I love myself despite those that would rather have me feel shame.

That means love your body. Love who you are. No matter what size or shape you may be. Because the important people in your life already do. Ignore your haters. Give yourself a big hug. And LOVE you.