The Scrutiny of Eating While Fat

I am a person of size. I am fat. It took me most of my life to get to a point where I am not ashamed of it. But what I am tired of is the constant scrutiny I face every time I eat in public. It's as if my body size gives everyone around me the right to comment on what I'm eating. It's intrusive and rude.

Unsolicited advice about my health

I remember one time, I was at a vegan restaurant enjoying some tasty ramen. A woman at the next table leaned over and said, "Good for you, trying to eat healthy." Her tone was condescending, as if she thought I was performing for her approval. More than once while shopping at a grocery store, men and women have looked into my cart and said, "You should try more fruits and vegetables." As if they knew anything about my diet or my health.

These people, these nosey individuals, they're like mosquitoes on my irritation scale. They buzz around, making annoying sounds, but they're not the worst. No, the worst are the Advice Givers. The ones who see my body and assume they know everything about my health. They think it's their duty to give me unsolicited advice about how I should live my life. They prejudge me because I am obese, and it's infuriating.

Learning to drown out the comments

But over time, I've learned to close my ears and eyes to these types of people. I’ve let their buzzing become a low hum of ignorance about me as a person. They can't possibly be worried about my well-being because they don't know me. Rather, I believe it is that nosey people have their own issues that they lay on me like a generic fat suit. They do not see Anita. They see obesity. They see fat. They seem uncomfortable with my fat, so they feel the need to chastise me to scratch whatever the itch is.

No, you cannot help me

When I was younger I had problems keeping my own boundaries. I consistently allowed strangers to lecture me while assuring them that they were right. That I was pleased they stopped to acknowledge me and give unsolicited advice. Since then, I've developed a hard stare and a silence that works miracles at getting them to depart. And for those who can't take a hint, I have plain words. I tell them, "Leave me alone."

It's a simple phrase without the please. It is powerful. It asserts my autonomy and my right to exist without judgment. It tells them to go away which is exactly what I want. When said strongly and clearly, it could work wonders to disperse the more insistent pests. You poked your nose into my business? I do not need to be overly polite. I refuse to be guilted into my own public harassment.

I Eat. That’s okay

Eating has many functions. It's the heart of many cultural gatherings. It's the way we nourish our bodies. And yes, it's something I, like everyone else, have to do to survive. I decided to stop being embarrassed about doing the same thing everyone else around me is doing - eating.

It wasn't easy to break free from the harsh stigmas. But life is long, and I have to eat and I can enjoy it. So I decided either I get over other people and their negative energy or I spend my life accommodating strangers I do not want to engage with.

I chose to live. I chose to eat without shame. I chose to be me, fat and all. And I won't let "eating while fat" run my life. I am more than my body size, so that means my body size is not an invitation for strangers to make their opinions known. I hope to have many, many more years ahead of me. Those include days of eating in public in peace.