Obesity Can Be Heavy

There’s a certain rhythm to life when you’re living in a heavy body. It’s not a rhythm that everyone understands, but it’s one that becomes second nature to those of us who live it. It’s a constant negotiation with gravity. It is not especially easy and a testament to a certain amount determination. I am morbidly obese and I have had to make friends with my body, including the apron belly that I have come to respect.

Navigating the world in a larger body

We can just start with the basics. Moving a heavy body means that every step, every motion, is a deliberate act. It’s not just about getting from point A to point B. It's about navigating the world in a way that accommodates the unique challenges of a larger frame. This isn’t a complaint. It is just a simple lived-in observation. There’s a certain artistry to moving my body into places. I have done it enough that it has a finesse that comes with practice and experience.

Take, for instance, the act of standing up from a seated position. For many, it’s a thoughtless action no matter the time or place. For many of us with heavier bodies, it’s a calculated maneuver. It involves engaging muscles, shifting weight, and sometimes using a bit of leverage. It’s a small victory each time, a reminder of the strength that lies within. Depending on the chair, I have different techniques. There is the recliner that used to require a good rocking before popping up. Another one works better when I put my right foot in front. Others have me putting my hands on my knees. These are learned actions from experience.

Walking is another story. It’s not just about putting one foot in front of the other. It’s about maintaining balance, managing momentum, and ensuring that each step is steady. I happen to have osteoarthritis in my knees and that adds to some of the pain that comes with moving. However, prescription pain cream has been a fortunate gift that makes the Heel Toe Express an easier ride. Taking a casual stroll is something that I miss and this is definitely related to being morbidly obese. It is also a motivation to take care of my health and drop the pounds that make my knees ache.

It can be physically and emotionally draining

As long as I am romanticizing moving a heavy body I might as well cover the physical world. There are practical considerations as well. In my experience, moving a heavy body means being mindful of the physical space around me. It means being aware of the width of doorways, the sturdiness of chairs, and the availability of handrails. It’s about planning routes that minimize obstacles and maximize comfort.

In a world that does not accommodate and is often openly hostile to fat people, it is the outside world that causes the most pain, both physical and emotional. It can be extremely emotionally draining at the end of the day. The thinking can be tiring, too.

It comes with a fitness level that often goes unrecognized

There’s also the matter of endurance. Moving a heavy body requires more energy, plain and simple. It’s a workout in itself, a constant test of my stamina. But with that comes a certain level of fitness that often goes unrecognized. The muscles that support my heavy body are strong, my cardiovascular system is resilient, and my overall physicality is impressive. My body is a beautiful thing that is carrying me through all of my health issues. She does it with grace and speed that surprises my healthcare providers, but never me.

It's about understanding my body is valid and worthy

Now, let’s talk about the social aspect. Moving a heavy body in public spaces can be an exercise in diplomacy. It’s about navigating social interactions with confidence and grace. I find that it’s about asserting my presence without apology, and claiming my space without hesitation. It’s about understanding that my body is just as valid and worthy as any other. There’s a pervasive narrative that equates size with sadness, that assumes a desire for thinness. It overlooks the joy, the pride, and the contentment that many of us feel in our bodies.

In the interest of honesty and sharing, I will admit that I have an apron belly which adds another layer to the experience. It’s a part of the body that requires special attention and care. It’s about finding clothing that fits comfortably and supports it well. It’s about making sure that she gets good self-care, good hygiene and no skin irritation. I used to be completely ashamed of my sagging belly. Then, one day out of the blue I looked down on it and it became her, an important part of my body that deserved my kindness and love. She gets in the way, no doubt, but accepting her went a long way in caring about myself overall.

It is heavy being obese

It is heavy being obese. Heavy physically. Heavy emotionally. However, moving a heavy body is a unique experience that comes with its own set of challenges and triumphs. It is asserting your presence, and embracing the beauty of diversity. It’s about understanding that your body is valid, worthy, and capable of incredible things. In accepting the heaviness, a lightness of being can be possible.