Not “Fitting In” with Society

Many of us already know how it feels to not fit in with society. Maybe we’re not part of the "it" crowd, or maybe our interests just don’t align with what’s popular. But have you ever considered how much those with obesity or overweight truly just don’t fit? We already don’t really fit into society as it is, but no one really talks about how we don’t physically fit.

Ever gone to an appointment and had to stand in the waiting room because there was no way you could fit in the chairs? I have. Or sat in a chair and worried whether or not it would hold your weight? I have. It’s just not fair. I shouldn’t have had these fears and worries every time I stepped out of my door to go somewhere. But I did. Society just doesn’t fit us.

Hard to go anywhere without worrying

I will say, as a disclaimer, that more and more places are doing better about having larger seating available, but I still don't think it's the social norm. Going to appointments, going out to eat, or going out anywhere always brought up an anxiety that there wouldn’t be anywhere for me to sit comfortably without worrying about breaking the chair.

Let’s not forget about how difficult it is to travel as a larger person. On airplanes you may need to buy 2 seats if you weigh more than average, bus seats never seemed to fit my wider hips comfortably, and you may need a large vehicle just to ensure you can get yourself in and out of it with ease. It all creates higher costs for us as well as adding to our worries.

Never-mind the thought of going to an amusement park. Even if I managed to keep up with everyone as far as stamina goes, I couldn’t go on rides without worrying that the safety bars wouldn’t latch properly. So I usually became the one that held all the bags while waiting for my friends and family. I mean, I worried about this even as a child.

Seating issues led to social anxiety

This created anxiety around going out when I was obese. Even now, after losing a lot of weight, I still wonder whether the chairs I sit in will hold me or whether I’ll even be able to sit comfortably wherever we go. I always wanted to be invisible in public because I was worried everyone was staring at me since I was so heavy versus the people I was usually with.

I still don’t like going out much, having become a homebody so that I didn’t have to worry about other people’s judgements of me. I still check the sturdiness of chairs before I sit down in them. I still worry about riding rides and whether or not I’ll hear that click that indicates that the safety mechanism is engaged.

Hope for a comfortable space

Like I mentioned briefly, more places are using the wider, sturdier chairs in their offices and restaurants. I've found more benches and the like out an about, so yes, society is beginning to come around to the idea of actually creating a comfortable space for us within it. Maybe it won’t be much longer before we can say that at least physically we can fit into society.