My Obesity Journey: How I Found Balance and Long-Term Health

I was obese for most of my life. Growing up, I was always the big girl, the fat friend, or the "last resort" girl. Despite being a fairly active child, I was overweight. It never seemed like I ate eat more than the other kids, and yet I was the fat one. Memories of my childhood are clouded by the constant fear that someone was talking about me or making fun of me because of my weight. While I don’t remember hearing too many cruel things, the certainty that someone was mocking me behind my back was always there.

Throughout high school and college, my weight stayed steady in the 270-pound range. My teens and early 20s years were marked by deep unhappiness and a sense of being trapped in the mental anguish of a poor body image. While it was a relief to be past the fear of taunting, I still lived in fear that no one would like me because of the way I looked.

The cycle of fad diets and unhealthy habits

Every fad diet or exercise program I tried felt like a potential solution, but the results were always the same. I would never lose more than a few pounds before feeling like a failure and giving up. Eventually, I decided that this was just the way I was going to be, and I allowed myself to settle into unhealthy habits for several years in college.

Saturday nights often consisted of a medium pepperoni pizza with cheesy bread and a 2-liter soda for dinner. Almost the entirety of it would be consumed in one sitting. Because cooking meant washing dishes, my roommate and I would often eat out. The food we did keep at the apartment was usually cheap, processed, and easy to make stuff.

Reaching my highest weight during pregnancy and stress

During college, I met my ex-husband. Initially, I went out with him because I thought, "Finally, someone cute seems into me." I stayed with him despite him telling me early on that I’d be gorgeous if I just lost some weight. Even though that comment hurt, I endured through the relationship thinking no one else would want to be with the "fat girl."

Despite an already unhealthy way of life, the scale didn't really begin to climb again until I became pregnant with my first child. Another weight gain followed soon after when I was pregnant with my second child. It was at this point that my weight reached 300 pounds, and I just could never get back below that number. Between postpartum depression, divorce, and single parenthood, remaining unhealthy felt inevitable. At my highest weight, I was 320 pounds.

Making better choices for my children's future

Finally, the realization hit that I needed to do better to keep up with my small children and stay alive long enough to see them grown. While I had not yet developed major health complications, the mention of pre-diabetes during one health visit made me realize that other health issues were not far behind.

Physical limitations were already a daily reality because of my size. My knees hurt, I had back problems, and I would run out of steam quickly. Imagine chasing after two very young kids on your own with these problems. It was a challenge, and I was tired of it.

Working with my doctor, we began to set health goals to lose some weight. I focused on what was being put into my body and made significant diet changes. My physician also prescribed some weight loss medication. Although I managed to drop about 30 pounds, I was never able to lose more than that, despite adding in exercise and thyroid medications. My weight continued yo-yoing despite all the changes made.

Choosing gastric surgery for long-term health

At this time in my life, I held a full-time job with excellent insurance, so I began to ask questions about potential weight loss surgeries. Several colleagues had undergone different procedures with wonderful results. After discussing ths with my primary care physician, they agreed that it would likely be the best option for achieving my goals.

I found a local surgeon that I liked nearby and began the process for a gastric sleeve procedure. The evaluation took several months, as the team wanted to ensure that I was both physically and mentally ready for the change. Once it was all said and done, we scheduled surgery for December 29, 2014.

Success and reflection on my obesity journey

Having the gastric sleeve was the best decision I ever made. While I might not have reached the exact goal weight my surgeon had set, I still managed to lose 120 pounds. Remarkably, I’ve kept off 100 pounds now for almost 10 years. I’ve since had three more children and I couldn’t imagine being able to keep up with any of them—teens and toddlers—if I hadn’t made that choice 10 years ago.

My obesity journey has been a roller coaster. While content with where I am these days, I recognize that making better decisions is a lifelong process. Weight can and will always fluctuate. My hope is that these experiences can help guide you to find your own happy place. Whether that is you becoming happy with where you are, finding solutions, or overcoming a hurdle you might be facing about your weight, please know you aren't alone.

I hope that you, dear reader, will join me on this path. I will be your cheerleader for whatever goals you have in mind.