Fat in an Active State

I live in a state that prides itself on being one of the healthiest in the nation. It’s a place where the mountains are not just a backdrop, but a playground. Where the rivers are not just scenic, but a challenge to be conquered. Hiking, biking, and extreme sports are the norm here, and everyone seems to be pushing their limits. As an obese woman, it can be challenging to fit into this active lifestyle.

I feel like I have to prove myself to others

The population of my state is focused on physical activities that are often difficult for anyone with a physical challenge or disability. As a fat woman, it’s disappointing to feel that these activities are out of reach. The hiking trails are steep, the bike lanes are fast, and the extreme sports are, well, extreme. It’s like living in a world that wasn’t designed for me. It’s like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Or a big round me into an outdoor square.

Being surrounded by a population that is size-focused can be awkward at times. People seem to judge me and assume that I’m not interested in participating in a more active lifestyle. They see my size and make assumptions about my abilities, my interests, and my health. It’s frustrating to constantly feel like I have to prove myself to others. It’s like being on trial every day, with the jury made up of strangers who need to be persuaded that I enjoy the outdoors.

Enjoying the outdoors is not a one size activity

But despite these challenges, living in this state has also encouraged me to strive to be the most active person I can be. I have beautiful locations and resources at my fingertips. One of which are groups available that I can join with people who face the same mobility challenges.

These communities have been a lifeline for me, providing support, encouragement, and a sense of belonging. They’ve set a pace for physical events that is practical and safe. Knowing that I am not the slowest person dragging down everyone else is a completely refreshing feeling. It is then that I can truly enjoy being outdoors.

When your state has as many vistas and mountains and beautiful scenes as mine does, wanting to be at those locations is no surprise. I revel in the smell of pine trees and cool water streams that are safe to drink. I like the feeling of the sun and of my body carrying me to nifty spots in nature. I might not be a fast champ up the path, but there is always something nice in nature to find. I might be using a walker on the park pathway, but my body is moving and I’m enjoying the outside air. Enjoying the outdoors is not a one size activity.

Learning to navigate challenges and advocate for myself

Living in a nationally recognized "most healthy" state looks different through my eyes. When I leave the state, I feel oddly more comfortable because I am around a population of Americans who are closer to my size. The downside is the arrogance that can happen when people, and the state itself, hang their hat on being active while not breaking down obstacles for obese and other disabled individuals.

But I chose to live here, and I love more things about this state than I hate. I can deal with the worship of the hyper-athletic because I want to live a healthy lifestyle that includes physical activities. I’ve learned to navigate the challenges, to advocate for myself, and to find joy in movement in my own way.

So yes, I am living fat in an active state. And while it’s not always easy, it’s always fun.