Seriously, Doc?

Going to the doctor can be a nerve-wracking experience. And for those of us who are overweight or obese, we may have the added nervousness of whether the doctor will take our health concerns seriously. Will they deduce the problem or will they chock it all up to being obese and just tell us to lose weight?

I understand that some health issues can arise from being overweight or obese, so sometimes the answer really is the need to lose weight. But this article is intended to address those moments where a health issue is unlikely to be related to weight.

My trouble with doctors

Growing up I was always heavy. I was never not overweight or obese. I remember my mother taking me into the doctor’s office as a kid and every visit would circle back to "she needs to lose weight" regardless of why we were in there. Even as a child, that is embarrassing to hear so often.

Continuing into my teens, my doctors always felt like if I would just lose weight a lot of my problems would be alleviated. It always boiled down to my size being the larger problem, despite the fact that I might have gone into the office because I had a sinus infection or something.

I finally found someone who would seek answers

As an adult, I finally said enough was enough and I got much pickier about who I would see. And I finally found someone who would sit and listen to my concerns about my health, whether physical or mental, and who would actively seek answers rather than just assume my weight was the root cause.

So, I was finally able to get on the thyroid medication I needed, I was finally able to seek help with my depression, and eventually I was able to get a diagnosis for my chronic pain and not feel fat shamed about it all. When you're overweight or obese, I feel like some doctors look at the phrase "you need to lose weight" as an end all be all cure for what might ail you.

Finding the right doctor

I have found that the search for a doctor can be a somewhat daunting task. You meet with one and you just don’t mesh with them. Or they seem passive in your concerns. Or maybe you get lucky and find a good one right away, one that will listen to everything you have to say and actively seek to find answers. Here are some things that have helped me when looking for the right doctor.

Don't be afraid to fire your doctor

If the doctor you meet with doesn’t seem like a good fit, then please don’t hesitate to shop around for the right one. Doctors work for us, not the other way around. I have allowed myself permission to look for other doctors who work better with me in finding the answers I need. Especially if I feel like all they try and do is connect every health concern I have straight away to my weight when I think there could be other underlying problems.

Think of each first visit with a new doctor as a job interview. If they don’t meet your criteria then realize you can seek out someone else to establish care with.

Find the balance

I try to find the right balance between what could potentially be a weight-related concern versus what could be something entirely unrelated to my weight. Not everything I go in to the doctor for is going to be something weight related, so the answer shouldn’t be a one size fits all, "you need to lose weight." Instead, the doctor should be willing to look at our symptoms or list of concerns and determine the proper care.

We deserve proper care

We’re allowed to have doctors that actually do their job and actively work with us to find an answer for what might be causing trouble. We are worth proper care. We’re allowed to seek out and find the right care even if it takes a few tries to find the right match. It doesn’t matter what size we are. We deserve to be properly cared for.

This is your permission to look for what you need versus just suffering through the struggle of having improper care.